Finding Safety By Going With the Flow: A Defensive State to Trauma - Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein

For Individuals
Written By Sarah Berkeley

In the last of this 5-part video series on our 5 defensive states, Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein, PsyD, CHT, explores the Submit defensive state: what it is, surprising ways it can show up in our everyday lives, and why we have the urge to appease others when faced with a threatening situation.

Submit has the energy of just going along with anything that happens. It’s designed to deflect someone else’s rage. To deescalate a situation that might otherwise endanger your safety.

If we find ourselves in this state too often—which trauma survivors often do—it can prolong our suffering. Instead of asking for what we want or saying what we need, we don’t want to rock the boat and might go on to resent ourselves and those around us for it later.

As always, becoming aware of the defensive state you’re in—be it Submit or any of the other four—is the first step toward healing. If you’re interested in taking your healing journey even further, we invite you to participate in The Healing Trauma Program: A Nine-Month Training to Regulate Your Nervous System, Embody Safety, and Become a Healing Presence. Learn from 13 premier teachers in the field of trauma recovery to alter the way you relate to yourself, to the world, and to your pain.

Sarah Berkeley

I am a front-end web designer, photographer, and conceptual artist. I hold an MFA in Art & Design from the University of Michigan and a BFA in Studio Art from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. I started my career as a UI/UX designer in New York City. Later, I moved to Berlin, Germany to pursue my art career and live a more bohemian lifestyle. After three years in Berlin, I returned to the United States for graduate school. Following my MFA, I began teaching web and graphic design, photography, and video the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, Nebraska Wesleyan University and Metro Community College.

In 2018 I left my tenure track position at Nebraska Wesleyan University, to pursue The Unknown! That year I did my first triathlon, founded an artist residency program at a state park in Iowa, performed in Seattle and hiked the 273 mile Vermont Long Trail. In the subsequent years I hiked the Pacific Crest Trail, Colorado Trail and half of the Continental Divide Trail. Following clues that appeared during the downtime led me to founding Expansive Media. I am super excited to be able to combine my tech and art skills through Expansive Media. I am also able to incorporate my passion for well-being and community by working with clients who make the world a better place.

https://www.expansivemedia.co
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Unhealthy Bonding: An Attachment Defense to Trauma - Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein
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How to Enhance Connection, Happiness, and Ease: The Neuroscience of Self-Regulation