Unhealthy Bonding: An Attachment Defense to Trauma - Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein

For Individuals
Written By Sarah Berkeley

In the fourth of this 5-part video series on our 5 defensive states, Dr. Jeffery Rutstein, PsyD, CHT, explores the Attach defensive state: what it is, surprising ways it can show up in our everyday lives, and why we have a tendency to form unhealthy bonds after perceived situations of stress.

One of the lesser known states our brains enter is Attach. But what is it? If you imagine a very young child, or even a puppy, you may have a good idea of what the energy of this state looks like. They’re adorable, but pleading. They cry to get their way. They seek and need reassurance. In crying out to be cared for, they’re crying out to be kept safe.

And if you’ve experienced trauma, you may find yourself much more concerned with other people’s needs than your own. In addition, those who have experienced a narcissistic parent/child dynamic are more likely to find themselves engaging in this defensive state. As always, becoming aware of the defensive state you’re in—be it Attach or any of the other four—is the first step toward healing.

If you’re interested in taking your healing journey even further, we invite you to participate in The Healing Trauma Program: A Nine-Month Training to Regulate Your Nervous System, Embody Safety, and Become a Healing Presence. Learn from 13 premier teachers in the field of trauma recovery to alter the way you relate to yourself, to the world, and to your pain.

Sarah Berkeley

I am a front-end web designer, photographer, and conceptual artist. I hold an MFA in Art & Design from the University of Michigan and a BFA in Studio Art from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. I started my career as a UI/UX designer in New York City. Later, I moved to Berlin, Germany to pursue my art career and live a more bohemian lifestyle. After three years in Berlin, I returned to the United States for graduate school. Following my MFA, I began teaching web and graphic design, photography, and video the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, Nebraska Wesleyan University and Metro Community College.

In 2018 I left my tenure track position at Nebraska Wesleyan University, to pursue The Unknown! That year I did my first three triathlons, founded an artist residency program at a state park in Iowa, performed in Seattle and hiked the 273 mile Vermont Long Trail. After all of that, I returned to Lincoln to decompress and process. Following clues that appeared during the downtime led me to founding Expansive Media. I am super excited to be able to combine my tech and art skills through Expansive Media. I am also able to incorporate my passion for well-being and community by working with clients who make the world a better place.

https://www.expansivemedia.co
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Feeling Trapped and Unable to Move: The Freeze Response to Trauma - Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein
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Finding Safety By Going With the Flow: A Defensive State to Trauma - Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein